A Couple of Stories so Lame that I Lumped Them Together.

LYON, France - A woman who underwent the world's first partial face transplant regained consciousness 24 hours after the groundbreaking operation and her first words were "thank you," one of her doctors said Friday.

Dr. Bernard Devauchelle, one of the surgeons leading two teams who operated on the woman, said there were no post-surgical problems and she was doing fine.

That's all well and good but where are the pictures of her new face? You're a lab rat, lady. Show us the results of the procedure. I know that you needed a face transplant after a horrible dog attack. That's very sad. Now, show us your face.

In other news...

Koko the Gorilla got in trouble for telling bitches to show her their tits. Apparently, you can sue a Gorilla for sexual harassment. Whatever. Koko is famous. These chicks should have just shown their boobs. If Koko was on a stage singing "Kick Start My Heart", they'd probably have no problem showing their nipples and blowing a roadie so that they can hangout at the Koko after party. People and apes work hard to become celebrities, they should be allowed to sexually harass people from time to time. They're better than us.