130 Students Suspended for Protesting

ENNIS, Texas -- Some students will not be allowed into Ennis High School's senior prom tonight.

School officials said the students won’t be allowed to attend because they were suspended for taking part in immigration protests earlier this week.

As many as 130 students at Ennis High School, Ennis Junior High and the Sixth Grade Center were suspended Friday for taking part in Thursday's march.

First, I should congratulate these students for wanting to make a point. I'm sure a couple of them were genuine. 128 of those students just wanted to walk out of class. Personally, I love Mexicans and I hope they get to stay.

Second, I must remind everyone that when you decide to become a revolutionary, you must prepare for the scorn of society. I consider myself the greatest revolutionary to ever walk the face of the earth. The problem is that I'm to lazy to walk that much. Instead of actually doing stuff, I just sort of sit around and throw empty diet soda pop cans at Fox News. I'm prepared for when I have to deal with Bill O'Reilly and his evil Fox security team. Viva Revolution!


I'm sorry that the fine students of Ennis High School had to suffer, but they should remember that you don't need some school event as an excuse to dress in tux and dance. You can even skip the schoool event and just start the night with unprotected underage sex and beer. That's how I spend all my evenings. That's why they won't let me live near a school anymore. Fuckin' fascism man.

You can't stop fighting the system though. People like me depend on more active people to deliver a message we probably believe in. Start some shit. Rouse some rabble. Play Grand Theft Auto III and listen to some Metallica MP3s that you stole off the internet while smoking a blunt. Be a Revolutionary. Be like Che. Che Guevara was a revolutionary. Now, he's on T-shirts. Only cool people get their faces on shirts. That means that he had a pretty cool life. It was great, aside from that part where the CIA and the Bolivian executed him. The Ennis High School student body got off easy. They only missed out on their prom. That's not that bad.